College Antics
by TheSchubita
Summary: Ferris Bueller thought College would suck. Then Marty McFly became his roomie and then it didn't suck so much anymore. Especially with John Bender around to spice things up.
1. Chapter 1

Apologies in advance for this. It basically came out of nowhere. Just, Bender, Marty and Ferris are one of my favorite persons that don't exist of all time and just imagine what hazard these three would cause if they ever met. At least Marty doesn't have his Delorean anymore. (Or has he? :D)

Warnings for cussing, slight references of drug use and oh-so-slight-slash. Oh, and behavior I don't recommend on copying.

Please Note: English is not my native language, and this wasn't beta'ed. Most likely contains grammatical errors.

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So, college sucks balls, Ferris concludes. He had resented the idea a lot, because it meant being away from home, from Cameron and Sloane, from _everything_. He missed home. And he missed his best friend, Cameron, who he could pull in all sorts of fun (Cam called it capital T trouble, but, well, it's Cam). But Cameron's parents just had to send him to Harvard. Figures. And Ferris himself is in New York. The distance sucks. Majorly.

Oh, and don't get him started on how much he misses Sloane. Sloane, who had still a year in high school, and then probably would be send off to Chicago for college. They had broken up, true, but it was more due to the long distance that was between them for the next few years, than anything else. He cared a great deal for her. And he missed her laid-back attitude, and the fact that she was indeed one of the few girls who actually used their pretty heads once in a while.

The teachers were absolutely no fun, either. It's like half of them are close relatives of _Rooney_, or something. Or maybe his charming principal had called ahead, also entirely possible. Ferris hated people with no funny bone in their body. He sighed, and put away his philosophy homework. He was sure he could talk his way out of it. Hopefully. He sat back on his chair, chewing on a pencil when someone knocked on the door. Ferris furrowed his brows. It was late.

"It's open."

The door opened with a bang and through it came a bouncing ball of energy and an astounding good mood. The boy was around his age, with bright eyes and reddish hair and a thousand-watt smile. He carried a guitar on his back and had a colorful skateboard in one hand, in the other a duffel bag. The boy zeroed his gaze on Ferris and, if humanly possible, smiled even wider. Ferris couldn't help but smile back.

"Hi, I'm Marty McFly, and I'm your new roomie! How's it goin'?"

Ferris raises an eyebrow. West coast. But, the suave bastard that he is, he smirks and says; "Call me Ferris. Ferris Bueller."

The other boy, Marty, flops down on the empty bed and toes his shoes off. "You came in quite late. School started a few days ago," Ferris remarks, when Marty apparently doesn't want to say anything else.

"Yeah I know, but I got a scholarship here, and for some reason there where some complications fitting me in, since I applied pretty late," Marty shrugs. Ferris looks at him skeptically. Marty catches his look, and then grins ruefully. "Yeah, I know, I don't really look like a geek, huh? I got a scholarship for this," he said, tugging at his electric guitar.

Ah, that makes sense. "So, are you some kind of the next Van Halen?" Ferris asks, joking.

Marty scratches his head and then gives him a grin. "I would hope so."

Ferris can't help but laugh. He likes that guy already. Marty eyes him. "And you?" he asks Ferris then.

"No scholarship. We can't all be the next generation's Eddie Van Halen, sorry. I'm just a computer science and mathematics student."

Marty looks gives him an once-over. "You don't exactly strike me as a computer-nerd," he says, thoughtful.

"Yeah, it's also not where my true talents lie, but computers, they're the future, man." Computer science is a brand-new subject at the NYU and has not that much students yet. Also, not many people realize the importance of computers just yet, but Ferris just _knows_ he's right. If he can delete his attendance records easily from home, imagine what he could do in a few years. To his surprise, Marty nods in agreement.

"Yeah, you're totally right one that one. Computers will define our future, in the next few decades."

That got Ferris' attention. Marty sounded sure. So sure as if he'd already seen it. "How do you know that?" he asks him then.

Marty, for some god-awful reason, freezes up. Not what Ferris was expecting. Then Marty starts rambling quite pathetically. "Oh, you know, I just think you're right, y'know. I mean it's not like, I have a car, haha, that drives into the future. Haha, that would be totally silly, huh? It's not like time cars, or, I dunno, trains exist!"

Time cars? _Trains_? "Are you high?" Ferris asks, because, none of this made any sense.

"What? No!" Marty yelps.

"Dude, you just told me about a car that travels through time. You tell me."

Marty stares at him. Panicked. Huh. Ferris files that away for later, because, what the hell.

"Uh, my dad is a SciFi novelist. I have a pretty heavy imagination. Runs in the family." Marty says, but it sounds unsure. Again, Ferris makes a mental memo for later. Then, he catches up with what Marty just told him. He jumps up so fast, Marty actually scrambles back in shock.

"Waitwait_wait_ just a minute! McFly? SciFi novelist? Don't tell me your father is _the_ George McFly, author of 'A Match Made In Space'?" he all but screeches. Sloane made him read that novel, and even if Ferris is not really a sucker for romance, that book was all ten ways of awesome. He actually read it a second time. And a third.

Marty, who had tensed up at the beginning of his rant, visibly relaxed. Ferris swears he'll analyze that at a later time. It's what he does. He'd make a damn good lawyer, that's for sure. But the weirdness that is apparently Marty McFly is not as interesting as Ferris standing before the offspring of one of the greatest SciFi authors in current time. "Well?" Ferris asks impatiently. "Is he?"

"Huh? Oh yes, he is. Totally. Didn't know he was that famous. What do you know. You a fan or something?" Marty grins up at him from his bed.

"Are you kidding me?! I would _die_ for an autograph!" Because, it's true. He would go lengths for an autograph from _the_ George McFly. Just, you know. Not actually dying.

Marty just laughs pleasantly. No, seriously, this guy just climbs and climbs higher up in Ferris' book. "I can write my dad, if you like, or ask him when he gets here with the rest of my stuff. I'm sure he'll sign your copy."

"He's coming _here_?" Oh, this is getting good. Really good.

"Yup. He'll come along this week. And my mom. My brother is currently working in New York, he's some kind of super-lawyer, and they'll be visiting him for most of the time. But yeah, they'll swing by and bring me the rest of my stuff." He then eyes Ferris. "My mom will love you."

Ferris snorts. "All mothers love me."

"Somehow, I don't doubt that."

Marty then yawns, and starts undressing. He slinks under his covers in his Led Zeppelin shirt and boxers and gives Ferris a wave. "See you tomorrow!"

Ferris wants to ask Marty now all kind of things, but the snore from the other side makes him bite his lip. He then gets up and to his bathroom, getting ready for bed.

As he is brushing his teeth, he can't help but think that college suddenly doesn't suck as much as it did just half an hour ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Apologies in advance for this. It basically came out of nowhere. Just, Bender, Marty and Ferris are one of my favorite persons that don't exist of all time and just imagine what hazard these three would cause if they ever met. At least Marty doesn't have his Delorean anymore. (Or has he? :D)

Warnings for cussing, slight references of drug use and oh-so-slight-slash. Oh, and behavior I don't recommend on copying.

Please Note: English is not my native language, and this wasn't beta'ed. Most likely contains grammatical errors.

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"Well, shit."

"I told you this was a bad idea."

Ferris grins. "There are no such things as bad ideas."

Marty _looks_ at him.

"Okay, the execution department lacked a bit. So?"

"So?! We're stuck here, in a broom closet, and no way out until Hendrickson gives the chase up. Which is gonna take a while, obviously. And, no offense, but I can imagine better ways to spend my free period."

"What? C'mon, we're having fun. F-U-N. Fuuuuunnnn. Try the word out. Stop being a buzzkill."

"Dude, I don't know about your definition of "fun", but where I'm from, rubbing your crotch against another dude in a space so small not even an ant would properly fit, is not defined as fun," Marty hisses at Ferris, while he squirms uncomfortably. It goes without saying the success rate of squirming making them both more comfortable is not very high, but Ferris isn't going to tell him that.

Okay, so in retrospect, apparently sidetracking means something different in Ferris' world than in John Bender's, but how could he have known Bender would actually pull the fire alarm? Seriously, the guy was a whole new level of delinquent. But he actually liked Bender, because they had similar philosophies on life. Just, you know, different methods in living them. While Ferris has never been caught (or at least never with consequences) it seems like getting caught is exactly up Benders aisle. Oh, well.

"I damn well told you that guy, Bender, was trouble. And now look where that got us!" Marty is complaining again, which, okay, Ferris _gets it _okay?

"Okay, look, I'm sorry, okay?! I swear we'll get out of this. Thankfully, Hendrickson didn't really see us, so I think we're safe to say he doesn't know who we are. We just have to wait this out, yes? I promise, you won't get into trouble concerning your scholarship," he tries to reassure the other boy.

"... We kinda already are in trouble, Ferris," Marty grumps.

"_Jesus_, stop complaining. I can't think with your whining as background noise!"

"It's your thinking that got us into this mess in the first place! Why did you have to steal all the weed from the confiscated drawer in Hendricks office?!" Marty yells. Like, really loud.

"Shut_ UP_!" Ferris whispers frantically. There are footsteps on the corridor now. Shit. They freeze up, barely daring to breathe as the footsteps draw even closer to their hiding place. Suddenly, the door swings open and-

"So that's where you two fags are hiding!" exclaims a gleeful voice.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Bender, you scared the hell outta me!" Marty angrily shout-whispers. Ferris makes an agreeing noise. He almost had a heart attack. Bender just smirks.

"So, you two pansies got the weed?" He asks them, while squirming into the broom closet. Which, Marty wasn't actually exaggerating that much, has barely any place left. And Bender is huge, all tall and dark and broody (and delinquent) and Marty and Ferris are kinda lean and slender, and even between the two of them it had been a tight fit.

"Damnit, Bender, there's no place left in here. Go hide somewhere else!" Marty sounds hysteric now, but at least he stopped yelling. Although, Ferris honestly doesn't know if it's a good sign or not. Marty then just kind of slumps to the ground, making a bit more room for the mountain called John Bender. Who still looks pretty amused.

"Aww, Marty, I never knew you cared," Bender mock-swoons. Then he sobers up a bit. "I would leave as soon as humanly possible, but Hendrickson is slinking nearby. Almost caught me when I heard McFly here screeching like a girl. Nice hideout." Ferris rolls his eyes at him, and Marty growls from the floor.

"Marty, calm the fuck down. I have never been caught-"

"You were just lucky."

"-and if I get caught, it's not by a Physics teacher who gives new definition to the word "boring"," Ferris pointedly ignores the unhelpful input. He turns to Bender. "You got out of situations worse than this. Any ideas?"

Bender looks him up and down. "I love it when you get all commanding, Ferris. It gets me all hot and bothered," he outright _purrs_. Ferris kicks him in the shin. "Okay, Jesus, calm your tits!" He looks up and around, jaw working. Then he looks further up, and smiles. He points up.

Air vents. Sweet.

"Okay, this is what we're gonna do," Bender starts. "We climb up and move west. It's the direction of the cafeteria. Which is gonna be deserted at this time. Then we get the fuck out. And for _gods sake_, keep a minimum distance of at least twenty feet."

….

Ferris hadn't had this much fun since that memorable trip to Chicago.

Of course, Bender had been way too heavy for the vents, landing all three of them crashing and burning in the middle of the library, when Ferris had actually been enjoying the view of Marty's - well. Thankfully, since it was already past opening time, it was deserted, too. Mere seconds later, there had been a thundering of footsteps from the front entrance and angry shouting. They had all scrambled up and hidden in a dark corner just behind the door. When Hendricks and three other members of the faculty had shown up and started searching the library, they had quickly snuck out behind them.

"So, that was fun. You dweebs aren't as bad as you seem," Bender laughs, out of breath.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing," Marty says. Ferris starts giggling. He can't help it.

Bender just rolls his eyes dramatically. "Stop quoting His Lordship Vader, McFly. You do not understand the finesse of the Dark Side."

"Oh, and you do?" Ferris lifts his eyebrow. Bender waggles his own right back at him. He throws Marty a fourth of the weed they just went through all the trouble to get.

"See you guys later, I guess. Gotta send this to Brian. Poor guy is probably holed up in a mountain of work, with no one to have some fun with."

Marty wrinkles his eyebrows. "Brian? The nerdy guy you told us about?" Bender nods his consent. "Tell your boyfriend we said hi," Ferris grins.

Bender growls. "_He's not my-_ nevermind," he sighs. Arguing with Ferris Bueller and expecting to win is like expecting the Earth to stop turning. Not gonna happen. He waves and saunters off.

Marty turns to Ferris. "Why can't I find normal people to be friends with?"

"Don't be so melodramatic. And, just to remind you, I actually didn't build a time machine out of a Delorean."

"Oh my god, when are you going to let this go?" Marty moans.

"When you get that crazy Doc of yours to build me one too."

"Not gonna happen."

Ferris starts to pout. It works on almost everyone.

"No, Ferris. I fear to think what you'd do with a time machine. It's not gonna happen, period." Marty starts to walk towards their dorm.

Almost. Well, it's not as if Ferris hasn't got at least four years of convincing Marty of his other brilliant ideas.

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Sooo, that was it! Yay for John Bender and his... everything. If anyone's interested, I found the source of the original inspiration:

http: post/17255037648/marty-mcfly-and-ferris-bueller-su re-okay-why

Thank you for reading! And remember, Reviews are L-O-V-E.


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